August 17th, 2005.
The date I will officially expire. Like a bowl of mayo left all afternoon on the picnic table, or that bag of party favors from the Oyster festival 03’ your forgot to throw out. On August 17th, I will go from working human being to illegal human waste.
But as for any disease there is a cure, a Botox to repel this express aging. In this case it is called “Sponsorship.” All I have to do is explain my boss that during my 2 ½ month of attendance at the gallery, I have shown exceedingly valuable assets that are worth signing me for the next three years, paying for the $6000 H1B Visa fee, hire a lawyer and go through 7 month of pain-in-the-ass paperwork. The numerus clausus application process starts next Tuesday, first come first served basis.
Now, is it really worth it? Why do I keep fighting to stay in the US like a clinging stalker following the object of her deranged affection? I once saw a “problem solver” notebook: it had 2 columns to help sort out the pro and the cons, and a total line to count the points (I guess this is where spending my lunch breaks at the American Folk Art Museum store on 66th street comes in handy.)
Bullet proof: H1B I’m in, VH1 I’m out.
VH1 > H1B
1. VH1 / MTV
> The Sundance Channel / IFC
2. Ubiquitous non-stop commercials.
> SUV’s are cool and big and useful when shopping in Manhattan. So says my credit card company.
3. Outrageous rent prices.
> Just pay for the doorless room.
4. Food-free food, Fat-full snacks.
> Asian Cuban vegan fusion restaurants with all you can eat meat deserts.
5. Old Navy considered by most as a potential “formal” wardrobe.
> Indiscernible body underneath clothing. Allow to keep the peanut butter cups coming.
6. 6 month of freezing winter.
> Keep those stupid flies frozen and out of the house.
7. Inefficient public transportations.
>Inefficient public transportations opened after midnight.
8. George Bush.
>Away from Jacques Chirac.
9. Working with lunatics.
>Lunatics okay to work with me.
10. Surrounded by indecisive overanxious talented artists.
> Surrounded by indecisive overanxious talented artists.
11. In love with New York.
I guess I’ll talk to my boss next Tuesday. Wish me luck. (or a safe trip.)
