FOX NEWS presents
a 20th CENTURY FOX production:
Breaking News. Morning Edition.
Psycho with hatchet still on the run…………........p.3
War on Terror: Rats doomed to eat us all………...p.4
Chocolate mousse recipe for Christmas……….....p.5
Let it Snow (Weather forecast)…………….……p.6-10
Thief on the Run legalized (Part 2)……………....p.11
Classified………………………………………..........p.12
- Jobs
- Green Card seekers
- K Food coupons
P.11 Thief on the Run legalized (Part 2)
On Tuesday afternoon, December 14th 2004, Foreign Citizen Maïa Morgensztern left her rent-free apartment and headed towards the Manhattan bound “Q” Train. After a long and strenuous hour spent in the office of the Director of an upscale art organization, Ms Morgenstein was finally granted one of her deepest wish: the right to steal an American citizen’s job. Ms Morgensnitz will legally start her art related career in the Land of the Free at the beginning of January. Questions remain as to whether her future superior, himself a citizen of some Foreign Country, was aware of the Laws and Regulations of the recently approved “Patriot Act” (ie “Thou shalt not Kill […] Thou shalt not hire a Foreign Citizen without my permission.”)
At press time, the exact nature of her position was not known. Rumors have circulated that she will become the “Assistant Director” at Pace Primitive.
“- I am delighted to join Pace Primitive as the Assistant Director.” She said. “It will be a wonderful opportunity for me to work while finally being paid for it. […] I would like to thank God, the President, and my Mother. My long term goal is to bring World Peace to the country.”
Ms. Morge is under investigation by the Foreign Country Secret Services for the theft of a public stapler and failure to complete the mandatory doctoral dissertation she promised her school when she left for New York in 2003. Unfortunately, Foreign Country representatives holding the warrant have not yet been allowed to cross customs at the airport (they refuse to submit to the bag search, claiming that Napoleon never had to go through such a hassle when he first visited the country. ndlr)
Whether or not the art gallery made the right decision in hiring Maia Morgnesbaum will have to be further researched in the near future.
Merry Christmas to you all.
-Reporter Carter, for FOX NEWS.
